I Love You, Mum

Four years ago today, at the timestamp of this entry, I made my first appearance on television. It was a 60-second segment called Business Bites, shown on Scottish TV (the regional ITV channel). Considering that The Games Kitchen was still less than a year old, it wasn’t a bad little piece of publicity (it ran again in August and September). I still have a tape somewhere, and I’m sure I’d be better at that kind of thing now, but never mind – the highly interconnected Scots businessperson/investor/adviser network certainly knew who we were after it ran.

I haven’t watched the tape since we ran it in the board meeting that day.

7 hours and 49 minutes after my television debut ended, my mum passed away at the age of 47. She never saw the tape.

Many people said to me at the time that being with her at the end was the hardest part, and it would get easier; I disagree. I would never have not been there, so for me that was the easiest part.

The hardest part was realising that I’d be spending the majority of my life without her encouragement; without her guidance; without her laughter.

Without her.

And that hurts like nothing else I’ve ever known, or could conceive of.

I love you, mum.